Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction : The Legend of Ms Garcia

The Legend of Ms Garcia

Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction

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Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction

Comedy : Acoustic

For Fans Of

Stephen Lynch, Tenacious D, Greg Behrendt, Patton Oswalt, Garfunkel and Oates

Location

Milpitas,CA

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A song about the Spanish teacher from my high school influenced by 1950's Mexican calendar girls and the theme music from Zorro.

Lyrics She rose like a rose from the desert A seniorita with text book in hand But one never failed to drop things 'neath her desk Cuz she wore nothing up under her dress Ms Garcia The vaguely slutty Spanish teacher What young man could learn how to roll is R's When his pants look like they are hiding cigars The only phrase in his mind is "estoy cachando" Which is Spanish for "I'm super horny" Visions of hot dogs wrapped in tortillas Twas the legend of Ms Garcia

Things got weird when she taught them "el burro" It's a donkey or ass she would say Now use it in a sentence Frank, you're up to bat He said, Can I wear your burro as a hat? Ms Garcia The vaguely slutty Spanish teacher The girls in the class conjugate verbs correct The boys cannot think cuz they're fully erect She tells them "el gato, ees mean pussy cat" And ten boys run for the bathroom Except for poor Carlos, cuz she is his tia Twas the legend of Ms Garcia They scream "te amo" as they throw roses at her feet To get a look at her back seat Like a pinata filled with meat Ms Garcia The vaguely slutty Spanish teacher They try to get her outside on a good windy day Like a Mexican Marilyn on a subway grate If the wind is just right you'd swear you smell tacos And the boys become stiff as the breeze They'd hoped she was easy like a shelf from Ikea Twas the legend of Ms Garcia To me it was hearsay and rumor Second hand knowledge at best My own thirst for truth would never be quenched Because I took French.